We here at Exposure believe in tackling the hard issues. There is no subject we won't address - no national crisis we will sidestep. In that spirit, and following the lead of every national entertainment publication that was once considered respectable, we're dishing up an "American Idol" rehash this week.
No doubt, the pressing issue on everyone's minds is just how long little Sanjaya Malakar can hang on before being cast into AI oblivion. It seems he's been chosen to secure the 'soccer moms and girls under 13' vote this year. He is obviously in possession of what can only be referred to as the "Awww Factor." As in, "would you look at that puppy dog hair and glistening smile? Awww."
In season one, the title-holder was Jim Veraros. Sure, he was somewhat deficient in the way of talent, but he cried when he talked about his hearing impaired parents who wanted nothing more than to see him succeed as a singer - even if they would never hear him. "Awww."
Season two gave us "Idol's" only successful 'mom vote' candidate - Howdy Doody-esque belter Clay Aiken. "A strong wind would blow him away, yet he finds the strength to sing with the shrill gusto of Celine Dion. Awww."
Season three produced crooner John Stevens. "You just want to bake chocolate chip cookies for him and sing him a sweet lullaby as you tuck him into bed in his one-piece sleeper. Awww."
Season four brought us Anthony Federov. Childhood health crisis? Definite "Awww Factor."
And who could forget season five's loveable Chicken Little look-alike, Kevin Covias? "Anyone who would be brave enough to provide us with soul-free versions of songs made popular by Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight AND Marvin Gaye must not have a clue 'what's going on' and obviously needs some encouragement. Let's vote for him 'cause we just like saying it so much. Awww."
And proudly continuing this great legacy is dear, dear Sanjaya. Sweet doll of a tone-deaf cutie that he is, his days are surely numbered. Barring the securing of talent, he may have another two weeks before his reign of terror is ended by the hand of fate.
I must admit to deriving the slightest bit of guilty pleasure at watching him topple more talented singers week after agonizing week. What a wonderful country this is.
In Exposure news, we're serving up quite a mixed brew this week thanks to a couple of talented guest writers.
First, Exposure vet Daniel Potter brings us a review of the Zach Snyder epic film, "300." The No. 1 film released March 9 tells the often-overlooked story of the battle of "Thermopylae" as told by Frank Miller in his graphic novel of the same name.
For our cover story, we're taking a walk on the wild side courtesy of staff writer Brandon Bouchillon. Our adventurous reporter is fresh off a mind-bending journey to the land of the jam bands - outdoor music festival Langerado, to be precise. We trust you're in the mood to take a "trip" this week.
Finally, Sidelines Editor in Chief Dana Owens cuts a rug with the Blue Moves Modern Dance Company. The group combines visual art, spoken word and free movement to tell inspirational stories with a fresh, creative energy.
We hope you enjoy this week's issue.
Be the first to comment on this article!