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James Vincent Huff walked the halls of his high school just like so many other students, hoping that after graduation things would be different.
A little more than two years later, James says finally feels like he fits in.
James, 20, is a typical college sophomore: he makes good grades, hangs out with his friends and spends time with his girlfriend.
Each day he makes the commute from Nashville to Murfreesboro for work, because he says that MTSU makes him feel like he belongs.
James is transgender, a term describing an individual who feels that the gender assigned to them at birth is not correct or a complete description of what gender they truly are.
He says while times are still hard, MTSU is one of the first places he’s ever been fully comfortable to not only be different but free to be his self.
James explains that he has felt different all his life, but a couple of years ago he came to the realization that he was transgender. After that realization, it was then that his life began to change.
“I got more information on what transgender was and I felt that I fit into that box,” James says. “Then I started making the effort to change some things; I changed my name and started making people call me ‘he’ and ‘sir’ and I also changed the way I dressed.”
James says while the transition was hard, the real test of strength was not in his ability to change himself but in his ability to realize he can’t change the world.
“Every day is difficult,” James explains with a wounded look on his face. “I get misgendered a lot of the time and I have a lot of things against me. I’m 5’2 and my voice is high and it is really hard because in my head I am who I am. When people don’t see you as you see yourself it is hard to deal with.”
James says that confusion remains the main source the general population’s inability to communicate and sometimes function around him when it comes to his gender.
“People like to classify other people and it doesn’t matter who you are, you are going to do it no matter what,” James says. “No matter if you’re unbiased, it just happens because people see in black and white or male and female.”
James says that people feel more comfortable putting each other in one box or the other and if they don’t know then they get confused and that scares them.
“People get uncomfortable and then they start calling you ‘he’, ‘she’ and ‘ma’am’ in the same sentence and it is awkward for you and them,” James says smiling.
He continues by saying that the confusion and curiosity that people have is not the problem, it is some people’s eagerness to confront him with inappropriate questions that he feels they wouldn’t ask otherwise.
“People just automatically assume that since I’m transgender that they can ask me anything, but what they forget is we are human just like them,” James says, looking concerned. “We are sensitive too and I’m not about to share my whole personal life with just anybody unless we are really close.
“People are curious and they don’t understand and that’s why they ask but a lot of the time it is really intrusive.”
James says half-joking and half-serious that he wouldn’t ask why someone is a specific ethnicity or why someone’s hair is purple.
Sometimes people forget just to what degree that their questions can seem offensive and insensitive.
While James is not his legal name, he says that the idea of even saying his given name disgusts him.
“My birth name is not something I like to say out loud,” James says nervously. “I get really uncomfortable with it and don’t say it unless I am at the bank or something.”
To alleviate the issue of professors calling James by his registered name he says that he e-mails every professor before hand just to make sure there is no confusion that could leave them confused and him humiliated.
“My name is James and my professors have been very receptive,” says James with a smile.
While most of his teachers have been helpful and curious James said that one teacher in particular stepped over the line.
“A teacher and I had a conference about a paper and she was curious about my gender and I understand that but she doesn’t know me and so it doesn’t give her permission to talk to me like that,” James explains in a hurt and defensive tone.
“They ask questions like ‘What is your real name?’ Well my real name is James. It is obvious that they are implying that they don’t really see me as what I am presenting, and that hurts.”
The fight for gay rights that has been raging for 50 years in the The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community and times can be hard for students like James. However, he says that MTSU has been almost a light at the end of his tunnel for acceptance.
“There are tons of different people at MTSU and I feel like I fit in more and I am so much happier and less stressed out about trying to present myself correctly,” James says with a smile. “I feel like I belong here socially and the fact that we have a Lambda here is a big deal, it is an open door for people that are like me and it is so progressive.”
The organizations at MTSU, James says, are open and see people as people and not as a color or gender.
7 comments
And I definitely agree that we have come a long way and moving towards a more-inclusive campus. This semester has been so focused on gender equality and I strongly believe that with all of the educating and awareness we have been doing, there is hope for a better understanding of what the LGBT community really is all about.
If you all need more information, feel free to contact MT Lambda or Amnesty MTSU. -Kidd
Amnesty MTSU, President