2008 Woodie Awards
Getting to know the 'Boro
For Argument's Sake
Jason Cox
Issue date: 1/7/02 Section: Opinions
Did you know that the city of Murfreesboro has the busiest intersection in the state?
If you've lived and commuted in Murfreesboro for more than a couple of days, you've probably already discovered that traveling through the intersection of Old Fort Parkway and Broad Street is sort of like navigating the mighty Mississippi in an inner tube.
Driving through Murfreesboro during rush hour often makes students grow ulcers on top of the ones they already had. Luckily for the adventurous type, there are numerous back roads that can be taken It's too bad that everyone else knows them too.
But certainly there's more to this sordid little 'Boro than a busy intersection.
To the delight of the geology department, my high school band director and a few other assorted characters, the geographical center of Tennessee is located less than a mile from campus on Old Lascassas Pike.
I'm not sure this holds much significance to the campus as a whole, but in any case there is a big stone pillar nearby for students to perform drunken rituals while listening to druid music bumping from their car stereo system.
Take it from me, you've never lived until you've sacrificed a goat to your god(s) at the geographical center of Tennessee. By the way, if you get caught, you never read this.
Murfreesboro also offers a plethora of part-time jobs thanks to the number of restaurants in the city. It holds the distinction of having the highest number of restaurants per capita in the United States. Now you have the opportunity to eat Taco Bell three times a day at three different locations (stomach pumps are optional).
I've also heard that the Murfreesboro Super Wal-Mart is the largest in the state and second-largest in the country. I haven't found out for sure, but as long as I can buy a betta fish at 4 a.m. I'll be happy.
Some might wonder why anyone would be entertained by a Wal-Mart. I say be grateful for what we have. If you attended Mississippi State, for instance, all there is to do in the non-campus part of Starkville is hang out at Wal-Mart.
Throngs of Rutherford County history buffs worldwide already know that Murfreesboro was the capitol of Tennessee for eight years. It was named so in 1818 because of its central location (see how this all ties together). However, Nashville wrested the title back in 1826.
Finally, a visiting religious reporter called Murfreesboro "the Athens of Tennessee" long before Nashville was decreed "the Athens of the South." This statement was made in 1853, when Murfreesboro was home to three universities and several academies. Nearly 150 years later, Murfreesboro is still not exactly the birthplace of free thought, but I'm sure it's on the university's agenda right under demolishing Ezell and Abernathy.
If you have read this far, you have absorbed approximately 475 words of the most useful text you'll read this semester. Sure, classes are important, but why go to class when you can dance around the center of Tennessee? I'm sure you all agree with me.
If you've lived and commuted in Murfreesboro for more than a couple of days, you've probably already discovered that traveling through the intersection of Old Fort Parkway and Broad Street is sort of like navigating the mighty Mississippi in an inner tube.
Driving through Murfreesboro during rush hour often makes students grow ulcers on top of the ones they already had. Luckily for the adventurous type, there are numerous back roads that can be taken It's too bad that everyone else knows them too.
But certainly there's more to this sordid little 'Boro than a busy intersection.
To the delight of the geology department, my high school band director and a few other assorted characters, the geographical center of Tennessee is located less than a mile from campus on Old Lascassas Pike.
I'm not sure this holds much significance to the campus as a whole, but in any case there is a big stone pillar nearby for students to perform drunken rituals while listening to druid music bumping from their car stereo system.
Take it from me, you've never lived until you've sacrificed a goat to your god(s) at the geographical center of Tennessee. By the way, if you get caught, you never read this.
Murfreesboro also offers a plethora of part-time jobs thanks to the number of restaurants in the city. It holds the distinction of having the highest number of restaurants per capita in the United States. Now you have the opportunity to eat Taco Bell three times a day at three different locations (stomach pumps are optional).
I've also heard that the Murfreesboro Super Wal-Mart is the largest in the state and second-largest in the country. I haven't found out for sure, but as long as I can buy a betta fish at 4 a.m. I'll be happy.
Some might wonder why anyone would be entertained by a Wal-Mart. I say be grateful for what we have. If you attended Mississippi State, for instance, all there is to do in the non-campus part of Starkville is hang out at Wal-Mart.
Throngs of Rutherford County history buffs worldwide already know that Murfreesboro was the capitol of Tennessee for eight years. It was named so in 1818 because of its central location (see how this all ties together). However, Nashville wrested the title back in 1826.
Finally, a visiting religious reporter called Murfreesboro "the Athens of Tennessee" long before Nashville was decreed "the Athens of the South." This statement was made in 1853, when Murfreesboro was home to three universities and several academies. Nearly 150 years later, Murfreesboro is still not exactly the birthplace of free thought, but I'm sure it's on the university's agenda right under demolishing Ezell and Abernathy.
If you have read this far, you have absorbed approximately 475 words of the most useful text you'll read this semester. Sure, classes are important, but why go to class when you can dance around the center of Tennessee? I'm sure you all agree with me.
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