2008 Woodie Awards
Congress drops the ball
Taxpayer dollars should be spent on issues that actually have an
Evan Barker
Issue date: 2/14/08 Section: Opinions
Congress is usually kind of cute. It's like watching a third-grade class giving a pageant about the founding fathers, or high school mock trial. You watch them bluster and stammer, and craft unreasonably long and complicated sentences. You see them spin very simple questions, such as "are you telling the truth?" into long speeches.
They didn't disappoint this week.
C-SPAN and ESPN viewers were treated to live, uncut, horribly awkward footage of the steroid hearings. They saw Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee accuse each other of lying. It was reminiscent of "I know you are but what am I?"
Let's put this in perspective. These are paid representatives of real, actual citizens. They actually convened a committee to investigate whether or not Roger Clemens was injected with steroids, as accused by his former trainer.
Never mind the war, the trillion-dollar debt, the 9/11 trials, the impending election, our polluted environment, voter fraud, impending recession, or any other issue. We just can't have juiced-up Neanderthals in major league baseball.
Does this bother anyone else?
To further put this in perspective, the following is a list of pertinent issues to the United States of America. Remember, these are the issues which members of Congress are paid to understand and mitigate:
- The porous Mexican border
- The porous Canadian border
- Impending economic recession
- Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
- The real location of Osama bin Laden
- The approaching election, with electronic voting machines and no paper trail
- "No Child Left Behind" and all the children it has left behind
- Waterboarding and other illegal torture
- Guantanamo Bay
- Warrantless wiretapping
- Death penalty inequality
- Misuse of National Security Letters
- Skyrocketing prescription drug costs
- Medical tourism
- Decaying national infrastructure
- Welfare reform
They didn't disappoint this week.
C-SPAN and ESPN viewers were treated to live, uncut, horribly awkward footage of the steroid hearings. They saw Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee accuse each other of lying. It was reminiscent of "I know you are but what am I?"
Let's put this in perspective. These are paid representatives of real, actual citizens. They actually convened a committee to investigate whether or not Roger Clemens was injected with steroids, as accused by his former trainer.
Never mind the war, the trillion-dollar debt, the 9/11 trials, the impending election, our polluted environment, voter fraud, impending recession, or any other issue. We just can't have juiced-up Neanderthals in major league baseball.
Does this bother anyone else?
To further put this in perspective, the following is a list of pertinent issues to the United States of America. Remember, these are the issues which members of Congress are paid to understand and mitigate:
- The porous Mexican border
- The porous Canadian border
- Impending economic recession
- Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
- The real location of Osama bin Laden
- The approaching election, with electronic voting machines and no paper trail
- "No Child Left Behind" and all the children it has left behind
- Waterboarding and other illegal torture
- Guantanamo Bay
- Warrantless wiretapping
- Death penalty inequality
- Misuse of National Security Letters
- Skyrocketing prescription drug costs
- Medical tourism
- Decaying national infrastructure
- Welfare reform
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
news across the neocon empire
posted 2/15/08 @ 3:28 AM CST
Certainly the gridlock that has frozen our Congress is not so supprising considering the Democrat sponsored bills are each required to have a minimum of 60 votes in the Senate in order to overcome the filibuster threat that the Republican party in the Senate uses to block the will of the People. (Continued…)
Brother Breeze
posted 2/15/08 @ 7:27 AM CST
Evan Barker! Simply, and wonderfully put! Yes there are those of us who agree with you to the letter! Good job!
jtm
posted 2/15/08 @ 7:28 AM CST
This is just a great article. Hilarious, nonpartisan. It's always concerned me that Congress has anything to do with baseball, and hearings likes this are a prime example. (Continued…)
College21Chick
posted 2/17/08 @ 10:54 PM CST
Excellent article! I could not have said it better myself! Witty yet truthful - deserves/should be published in the NY Times and other major newspapers!
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